44 days and frustration

44 days until the wedding.

44 days left to get everything organized.

44 days until we are finally married and all this frustration will be worth it.

today  i am sick and i am cranky. because of this, i am very frustrated. i feel as though i am frustrated with everything to do with the wedding. i am frustrated by the fact that the bridesmaids dresses still haven't arrived. i am frustrated by the fact that none of the groomsmen have picked up their suits. i am frustrated by the fact that my stupid decorator never replies to my emails (how he has a successful business is beyond me, he is out there). i am frustrated by everything to do with the rsvp's. i am frustrated that people are attending our wedding in ways we never intended them to be able to attend. i am frustrated that we are still 4 people over legal capacity / fire regulations and that no one seems to take said regulations seriously but me and the lady who enforces these regulations, jane. yes, this is probably one of my biggest frustrations. i am frustrated by the fact that no matter what we do there is always someone unhappy. i am frustrated by the fact that it is starting to feel like what we want and how we want it doesn't matter matter.

i am most frustrated that my frustration is frustrating jesse.

i am sure that every bride gets to this point in the wedding planning where all they want is for the day to come and the planning stage to be over. i am at that point.

i am being whiny because i am sick, i know this. i am lucky we have had so much help and support along the way. i am lucky we have so many people who love us enough to make the long journey to calgary from their various homes of vancouver, saskatchewan, montreal and ontario in order to celebrate with us.

so maybe i shouldn't be complaining but honestly, this entry made me feel better, so i am glad that i did.